Ka-Ra-O-Ke Nights...

So.

If I could have a facebook status right now, it would more than likely read “...wants to fuck blah blah blah”. Here’s where it's nice to not have internet access for a change. Haha granted I’m not that sad of a puppy but its still the idea in the back of my mind which is cute but rather bothersome. But this isn’t about me and my EXCESS amount of hormones, oh no! This is about Karaoke Nights *cue Aladdin music*…

“Oh I came to this land from a far away place
Where the pot head Americans roam
Though the green here is rare, but I guess it’s the race
Its 10 years in prison or home
When the liquor is free
And you need no ID
And the streets and the stores are bright
Come on down, stop on by, cop a jiten and ride
To another Karaoke Night!
Ka-ra-o-ke Nights…!
Like Thirsty Thursdays..!
More often than not, it’s humid and hot
Ethnic hair will Fray…!
Ka-ra-o-ke Nights!
Like Frat Boy Full moons.
A drunk off his guard, will buy the whole bar, and vom in the noon…!”

For the record, I’m fucking amazing for coming up with that tipsy. Granted, several parts of the song were exaggerated for lyrical flow so I might as well break it down. When it comes to the karaoke place, yes, it’s all you can drink for however long you choose to stay (I only spent 9 dollars for several tequila and tonics) but its not shots. It’s all cocktails or beer…which is bullshit but makes sense. If people could take as much shots as they wanted in an HOUR that motherfucker would be closed after the 444th case of alcohol poisoning. Next time we do that, I’m hoping I can get Tracy to split a fifth of Tequila with me. Pregaming is muy necessita and since drinking is in her blood (hurrah) we should do it big or go home. Preferably do it big and stumble fuck our way back to our homestays…

But Karaoke was definitely interesting. Except for me smoking almost six cigarettes in TWO hours. What the fuck?? GOD DAMN IT KYLE. I miss him so much it depresses me on the level it did when I wanted *that* bastard. I’m not good at dealing with missing people combined with not being able to smoke with Mary so I have to resort to cigarettes and shit, I am feeling the err of my ways right around now. I think I have throat cancer D: I mean, I probably (slash hope) I don’t but singing my lungs out and smoking and drinking ample amounts of watered down tequila cocktails has done nothing for my throat (or stomach).

Speaking of throats…

So…uhm…Alex can totally open his throat? That reads weird but it is what it is. In the midst of chugging his beer, he pulls an anaconda and DEVOURS whatever he’s consuming. It is a MINDFUCK…slash I wish I could do that. I mean, the lack of a gag reflex is good enough (except for the mornings when I’m hung over and dying to vom) but to be able to open your throat? That just seems like such an EPIC waste of a talent on anybody but a straight female or a gay male….

I wish Ashley-chan were here…she would totally be able to dig the adventure. Also, she could be just as amazed with me at Alex pulling an open throat. Oh—and Erik-san busting a rap with that Asian dude who pulled off that Akon song amazingly well. Despite being a broke bitch, it was a night well spent with interesting company. Here’s to hoping my next drunken adventure is just as amazing (but not eventful in a shit show way)..!!

Side note, I am buying Kimchi en masse tomorrow. It has become my spicy Korean crack. Amen.